Cell-Phone Disturbia

I, against all my might, managed to make it through spring break without my cell phone.

I realize how that statement may not be entirely true, and misleading at best.

It all began about 13 months ago when my “only-pay-the-taxes, re-sign-your-contract-for-the-next-70-years, and promise-my-first-born-child” (otherwise known as Verizon’s free phone) was not good enough for me.

I wanted the Chocolate.

Not to play music -- I knew there was no way I was going to devote any time to learning how to upload music on anything other than my iPod.

It was definitely not because I got a good deal – please, $250 on eBay, with no warranty, usb cord or directions for that matter. **Red Flag no. 1

No, I bought the Chocolate because it looked cool. Kind of.

Its glossy whiteness, touch screen-y goodness had me at 'hello.'

Fast forward about 8 months to the day my Chocolate comes down with a serious case of ennui and decides it just can’t go on any longer transmitting text messages or illuminating its screen.

However, up until this point my cell phone was aesthetically promising but functionally defeating (not that I was completely willing to admit this). My chin consistently grazed the touch screen every time I would take a call, prompting the phone to demand I say whether I wanted to send a message. Why I would want to send a message while I was already speaking to the person was beyond me, but maybe the Chocolate knew something I didn’t.

After a conversation pleading and begging with the Verizon woman, she surprisingly handed me over a free, refurbished Chocolate. I was stunned; this woman owed me nothing and didn’t have to do that. **Red Flag no. 2

This last week marked the death of my second Chocolate.

To make it even worse, every single one of my friends back home had bought into the iPhone craze and we obnoxiously tap-tap-tapping on the touch screen.

I reluctantly signed another 2-year contract and was given a “free” phone for promising my future nonexistent deed to my nonexistent house (and other such promises).

I’m not going to lie.

Not having my phone sucked. It was not a “freeing” incident where I realized my utter dependence on this particular technology was shallow and insignificant compared to poverty or having your computer crash.

I didn’t for one minute forget it wasn’t working.

The experience did not awaken my inner child.

It was just simply a week without my cell phone. OK, four days.